


The Art of Broomstick Waxing

by Chiharu



Series: Charms and Repellents [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Barebacking, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Hotshot Auror Lee Seungil, M/M, Political Intrigue, Post-Hogwarts, Quidditch Star JJ Leroy, Size Kink, Veritaserum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 18:30:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9284513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiharu/pseuds/Chiharu
Summary: "You wanted to know what I was doing this morning, right?" JJ winks at Minami. "Just ask your Captain."Seungil shoots him a glare that's somewhere betweenI'm going to hex youandshut up or no sex for a month.In which Seungil burns JJ's "Don't flirt with me, my boyfriend is an Auror!" shirt, JJ becomes the subject of target practice, and trouble brews amidst the UK Quidditch Cup.This is a sequel toFundamental Laws of Magic and Attraction, but can probably be read as a standalone.





	

JJ has just started on his lunch when spells begin to rain down from the sky. His plate of bangers and mash is abruptly overturned when he scoots under the table and drags his companion with him. He fumbles for the wand tucked in the inner pocket of his coat as a particularly strong hex splits the patio table next to them. "What the hell," JJ mumbles as he listens to the chaos of people scattering out of the street. He's just about to jump out of his shelter when a string of voices overlap his.

" _Protego Maxima!"_ Three people step out into the open with raised wands as they begin to build a protective barrier over Sallywee's Deli.

By the time JJ helps his companion, Goldberg, out from under the table, the barrier is complete and the barrage of attacks have stopped. JJ surveys the wreckage around them and grimaces at the roof of the deli caving in. That's not a good look.

"Are you all right?" One of the newcomers asks JJ and flashes him a familiar looking badge. "I'm Minami, from Auror Unit Three. Are you injured?"

JJ surveys his dusty robes and shrug. "I'm fine. How about you, Sir?"

Goldberg makes a distressed sound from where he stands. Another Auror is examining him for injuries, so JJ turns back around.

"I'd like to ask you a few questions," Minami explains as he begins a recording spell. "Did you see the directions the attacks came from?"

"No clue," JJ says as he shakes debris out of his hair. "Which unit did you say you were from again?"

Minami ignores his question. "What were you doing at Sallywee's at 3PM on a Tuesday afternoon?"

JJ gestures at the discarded food on the ground. What a waste, he thinks as he spots the owner speaking to another Auror. "Having a late lunch, obviously."

"Is there a reason you decided to eat outdoors when the deli is nearly empty inside?" Minami's questions get progressively more specific as he barrels on. "Who decided on this lunch spot? When was this decision made?"

Goldberg manages to respond between wheezing. "This morning. I sent JJ an owl and suggested we meet."

Minami glances between them. "And what is your relationship to each other?"

"Boy!" Goldberg leans the bulk of his weight on JJ as he frowns. "Don't you recognize Jean-Jacques Leroy, the Captain of the Falmouth Falcons? It's one of the premier teams in the league, and my most profitable venture! You can't possibly suspect him!"

Minami looks taken back by this. He glances over his shoulder at the Aurors speaking to other witnesses, but none of them seem inclined to help him with world's least intimidating interrogation. "Regardless, Sir, you are the one who requested protection from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

This is news to JJ. It doesn't surprise him that someone like Goldberg would have people after him, but JJ would've liked a bit of warning before becoming the subject of target practice outside of the Quidditch pitch. "Is this true?"

Goldberg wipes at his forehead with a handkerchief. "Where's your captain, boy? Your department head promised me one of his best units."

Minami frowns. "He's securing the premises, Sir! But either way, we have reason to suspect your companion if he's the only one who knew about your meeting. He-"

"Enough," a familiar voice cuts in. Everyone looks at a figure descending from atop a pile of rubble. Even better, JJ thinks as he feels his mouth split into a grin.

"Captain Lee!" Minami says with newfound valor. "This man-"

"I heard enough," Seungil says as he shows JJ and Goldberg his own badge. Not that JJ would ever forget what it looks like. "I'll take over from here."

"You wanted to know what I was doing this morning, right?" JJ winks at Minami. "Just ask your Captain."

Seungil shoots him a glare that's somewhere between _I'm going to hex you_ and _shut up or no sex for a month_. "Minami, go help Keller."

"I’m Seungil Lee. Department of Magical Law Enforcement Unit Three, Captain," Seungil tells Goldberg when Minami is gone. "Can you tell me anything about the source of the attack?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't have gone to the Ministry for help!" Goldberg huffs and walks a few paces to pick up his discarded hat. He pauses when Seungil stops him. "What?"

Seungil kicks a pebble at the overturned hat. Upon contact, the hat lights up into green flames. They watch silently as it burns, the smoke swirling until it takes shape in the air. _REPENT OF YOUR SINS_ it says, before dissipating into nothingness. Seungil raises an inquisitive eyebrow at Goldberg, who turns even redder.

Goldberg is already a portly man, and frustration does not look good on him. "Potter said he assigned me one of his best units!"

"We've been tailing you for a week," Seungil tells him. He's wearing a blue dress shirt that shows off the slimness of his waist, and JJ resists the urge to rest his hands on Seungil's hips. "Did you notice?"

Goldberg stares. "O-of course not!"

"Then we did our job right." Seungil waves someone over. "Mishra and Kensington will escort you to St Mungo’s for a checkup. They'll be assigned to guard you until further notice. I'll take care of a few things here and meet you at St Mungo’s to discuss the details."

"Don't worry," Mishra tells Goldberg in the half-soothing, half-devious tone JJ had only heard previously at school, or in the locker rooms. "We'll take care of you, Sir." She loops her arms through Goldberg’s and Kensington's before Apparating away with a crack.

JJ grins at Seungil. "So... You come here often?"

Seungil responds by giving JJ a comprehensive patdown. "Are you injured? Does it hurt anywhere?"

"Aw, babe." JJ scoots closer and tucks his hands into the back of Seungil's slacks. It's only been a few hours since he watched Seungil dress for work, but JJ never gets tired of touching Seungil. "You should've escorted me to St Mungo’s too if you were worried."

"Don't be daft," Seungil says but doesn't push JJ away. "There's obviously an interrogation waiting for him there. I need you to tell me if you have any leads."

JJ gives Seungil's ass a good squeeze under the careful drape of Seungil's dark robes. It's a standard auror-issue that no one but Seungil bothers to wear, but now it serves as a convenient cover as JJ appreciates his boyfriend's toned backside. "Goldberg? Beats me. You can't get as rich as he is without making a few enemies."

"You're useless." Seungil tsks when JJ tugs him even closer, until they're pressed together at the hips. "I'll have to _Obliviate_ half my team if you keep this up."

"No one is looking," JJ chirps. It's probably because they all learned their lesson from the last department holiday party. Regardless, his forehead is almost touching Seungil's when they're interrupted.

Minami squeaks at the sight of them. "Captain Lee! K-Keller asked me to get you! There's something he wants you to examine!"

Seungil puts some distance between himself and JJ. "I'll be there in a few minutes. I need to finish up here."

Minami's face turns almost as red as the highlights in his hair. He scampers away and is met with quiet laughter from one of the more recognizable faces in Seungil's unit. JJ gives them a jolly wave goodbye.

"Keller totally set him up," JJ feels the need to tell Seungil. "Is the kid new? He can't be one of your little Hogwarts buds."

Seungil pulls out his wand and begins rebuilding the roof of the deli. His magic has taken on a new level of complexity since their Triwizard days, and lately Seungil can cast wandless magic in his sleep. More than once, he's silently summoned their alarm clock from across the room while half-awake. JJ would find it incredibly hot, if he didn't have to duck before the clock smashed into the wall every time. Their landlord, an elderly witch who listens to Celestina Warbeck and the Banshees every day, teases them often about it.

"He's a Mahoutokoro grad that was transferred in to replace Georgi," Seungil says after the deli is repaired. "Stop teasing him."

"No one can replace Georgi in our hearts."

Seungil rolls his eyes. "He’s not dead; he eloped."

"Rest in peace," JJ continues, laughing when Seungil shoots him a look that's half-annoyed, half-amused.

"I need to check in with Keller, in case he actually wants something. Do you need someone to escort you to practice?" Seungil asks, as his unit pretends not to be eavesdropping on this conversation.

JJ feels fine. The excitement is nothing compared to some of his more gruesome morning practices. "Nah. Work hard, honey~"

"Bye," Seungil tells him pointedly before JJ Apparates away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is how Seungil got tricked into being an Auror:

Seungil had an uncomplicated, five-step plan after Hogwarts. He’d applied and been accepted to the apprenticeship at Gringotts a month after his N.E.W.T results returned, and found a small flat in a Muggle neighborhood of London, sufficiently quiet after a silencing charm or two. Seungil hated dealing with people, and the goblins at Gringotts were unfriendly enough to eliminate the need for small talk. It helped that Seungil was good at numbers and equally antisocial.

The first bump in the road was JJ, who'd also relocated to London after signing with a B-league team. Being the ostentatious person that he was, JJ had found an apartment in the heart of Diagon Alley and whined when Seungil called it “too much.” Still, it was only a stroll away from Gringotts, and Seungil found himself spending nights at JJ's place and eating breakfast there while JJ ran off to practice at ass o’ clock in the morning. In his first few months in London, Seungil managed to cast a high-level silencing charm on the entire apartment. It was mostly to help Seungil sleep at night, but JJ joked it was to protect their neighbors from hearing their highly athletic sex.

The second problem came from the Ministry of Magic, which sent an auror with unruly dark hair to investigate recent accusations directed towards Gringotts. The goblins, having developed an unmovable distaste for the Ministry after the Second Wizarding War, were as helpful and cooperative as unpotted Mandrakes. For whatever reason, Seungil was assigned to help the Auror. Seungil did his job with practiced precision and explained the algorithm behind some of Gringott's ever-shifting locks. The visitor had nodded along while badly concealing his obvious confusion.

Seungil had sighed, summoned a toy lock from the lost and found, and charmed it to demonstrate his explanation in simpler terms. It was a strategy Professor Katsuki always used in class, saving Seungil from having to reteach the material to his friends later.

"You're pretty good this huh?" The Auror had said at the end of the tour. "I hear you're also a Hogwarts graduate? You should consider joining the Ministry instead. I know we need more people in the auditing department. It probably pays better, too." He pulled out a charmed business card and handed it over to Seungil. "I'll even put in a good word for you."

Seungil had stared in disbelief at the gold embossed name on the card. He hadn't read the Auror's badge earlier, assuming the Goblins had done the necessary background check. "Eh," Seungil said dumbly. "I'll consider it."

It's not until the Auror has left that one of the other accounting apprentices joined Seungil. "Bloody hell, was that _Harry Potter?_ "

Thus, Seungil applied and was accepted to an office job at the Ministry, where he spent half of his time working and the other half unwillingly listening to Ministry gossip. His supervisor, a Scottish man who was no stranger to day drinking, claimed that Seungil's talents were wasted at a desk job and convinced Seungil to take the Auror's Exam. Back then, switching to a field job had seemed like a blissful escape from all the office gossip. Seungil passed the exam on his first try and was assigned to Unit 3, which operated directly under the newly appointed Head Auror.

The third factor became glaringly obvious immediately afterward.

"So we meet again," Harry said after Seungil completed an intensively boring and long training course. His office was, and still is, weirdly bare and arranged to resemble a Muggle study. The most surprising thing about the office, however, was another familiar face sitting in the armchair. 

"Ah, Lee," McGonagall had said, as she nursed a cup of tea. "I see you've met one of my other students."

Seungil experienced a moment of clarity as he recalled his career interview from 2 years ago, when McGonagall had seemed disappointed at Seungil's decision to join Gringotts. He remembered how she had suggested a career route with the Ministry, and realized, belatedly, that he had been set up.

"They really played you!" Phichit had laughed when Seungil told him the story over dinner a few weeks later. By then, Seungil had already received a handful of congratulations and _Incendio_ 'd the “don't hit on me, my boyfriend's an Auror” shirt JJ somehow procured. "So does this mean you'll be my insider at the Ministry?"

"Find another source," Seungil had said, since the satirical wizarding newspaper Phichit worked for had been nothing but a joke back then. "Now, show me your sample photos."

Phichit pulled some photographs out of his robes and grinned. "Gladly!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

At age 24, Jean-Jacques Leroy had a lot of things most people didn't: a diploma from The Durmstrang Institute, his own line of Quidditch apparel and toy broomsticks for children, a 50 pound Siberian Husky that was more of a child than a pet, and an extremely hot boyfriend to raise said dog-child with.

Except the boyfriend was being extremely uncooperative about revealing the details of JJ's Christmas gift. JJ knew that Seungil didn't care for Western holidays, but thought that 7 years at Hogwarts would've softened Seungil's resolve to be a capitalistic grinch. They hadn't even been an official couple during their first Christmas together, when JJ charmed Seungil after being his date to the Yule ball. He should have known there was no topping that, for every Christmas afterward Seungil became progressively more uninterested in the art of gift giving. In the last few years, Seungil had gifted JJ with:

1) Broom wax

2) Hair gel

3) A Muggle microwave. Granted, this was pretty useful and beat reheating stews in a cauldron

4) A puppy, which was more of a gift to Seungil, but JJ was always a sucker for animals

5) A new tie, which they put to good use in their nightly activities and never graced JJ’s neck since

And now, for their 6th official Christmas together, Seungil was telling JJ that he didn't have a tangible gift for him.

"That's disappointing," JJ said, although he secretly felt relieved that he no longer had to feign satisfaction at whatever horribly practical but unromantic gift Seungil would choose. His fingers curled into Wangja's soft fur as Wangja purred in his lap. "But you could always make up for it with your body."

Seungil ignored his suggestion. "I've decided to take you as my plus one to my boss's holiday party."

"I'm always your plus one," JJ said automatically, although he appreciated the effort.

What JJ didn't appreciate was Seungil withholding key information until they were standing outside of the Potter-Weasley house in Godric's Hallow. While JJ knew, logically, that the Auror's Office fell under the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, he hadn't expected Harry Fucking Potter to be Seungil's direct supervisor.

The thing was, most of the Second Wizarding War had been contained in the UK. JJ, having grown up in Canada during the post-war years, thought of it as nothing but a distant historical event. His mother and Isabella’s mom, both Ilvermorny graduates and advent Holyhead Harpies fans, made JJ watch all of the Harpies' matches growing up. He'd even gone to a live match with Isabella on his 10th birthday, which is an anecdote JJ recounted many times during professional interviews when asked about his Quidditch heroes. To JJ, Harry Potter was a nobody married to JJ's actual idol Ginerva Weasley.

So JJ considered it utter betrayal for Seungil to take him to Ginny Weasley-Potter's house with no prior warning.

"Stop fidgeting," Seungil said when a child opened the door for them. He took a moment to fix the top button of JJ's shirt before a man appeared with the child in his arms.

Harry Potter looked shorter and less kept in person than in photos. JJ regretted bringing a bottle of gin instead of a comb as his present. However, JJ's inner monologue was interrupted when Seungil introduced JJ as his partner.

Inside, JJ listened attentively to introductions. Seungil's colleagues seemed to take more offense to JJ being Canadian than his status as a famous Quidditch player and a man.

Eventually, JJ's idol appeared downstairs in jeans and a green Christmas sweater. She listened with well-honed grace as JJ blabbed on and on. By the time Ginny politely excused herself to check on the turkey, JJ had already lost track of his boyfriend. Unfortunately, that's when their host's extended family showed up with kids in tow, and JJ officially lost sight of Seungil in the sea of redheads.

He eventually found Seungil sitting in the dining room while his colleagues drank and laughed around him. Seungil looked at him blankly when JJ entered. 

“There’s the guest of honor!” Keller howled. “Our star Auror has been very hush-hush about you!”

JJ looked at Seungil, who just blinked at him sleepily. “Has he?”

Mishra loudly set her goblet of wine down on the table. “I tried to set him up with Erica down in Unit 5! I tried to set him up with half of the department, but he just kept turning them down! Now we know why!”

“Now you know,” JJ agreed. His boyfriend was warming a cup of the same red liquid in his goblet, so JJ carefully removed it from Seungil’s hands. He took a drink and nearly spit it out. “This is _not_ wine.”

“Nope!” Keller chimed. “The Captain of Unit 8 came by earlier to challenge Seungil to a drinking match. He said Harry absolutely won’t promote anyone unless they can finish a bottle of this.”

That made sense. Seungil had always been a sleepy drunk. “Let’s get you some gillywater, eh?”

Seungil stood up for a beat before swaying on his feet. As if on cue, JJ was quick to support him under the arms as Seungil blinked blearily at him. “You look really hot tonight,” Seungil told him, point blank.

“Thanks?” JJ said, at a loss for words. While Seungil was plenty compliant in the bedroom, he’d never been very affectionate or vocal in public. This was new to JJ. 

“Livingston from Unit 8 has been staring at your ass all night,” Seungil continued, inciting laughter from his teammates. “She invited us to a threesome, but I told her I wasn’t into wo-” He made a soft sound when JJ covered his mouth with a hand.

“How much did you _drink_?” JJ demanded, looking down at the bottle on the table. “And what _is_ this?!”

Someone with red hair popped up next to them. “That’s the Weasley’s homebrew! I crafted it myself with the perfect combination of Cru Bacchus and Veritaserum. How’d you like it, Mate? We’re testing it for the shop. I hear the food and beverage market is right profitable these days.”

“George!” Ginny shouted from the doorway. “I told you to stop bringing that stuff into my house!”

“It’s too rich,” Seungil said truthfully while George Weasley took notes. “And sweet, like dessert wine. But not as sweet as JJ’s-”

“Alright!” Keller cut in. “You should take him home.”

JJ thought so too. He ignored George’s call of _I’ll hit you up later for more customer feedback!_ and manhandled Seungil out of the dining room. They ran into Harry, who looked sympathetic upon learning about the Veritaserum wine. With some difficulty, JJ managed to Apparate them back home in time for Wangja to jump on them.

Seungil immediately went down with Wangja in his lap. He let their dog-child clean his entire face before declaring, “Wanja needs to go for a walk.” Seungil turned to JJ expectantly. 

“I’m so whipped,” JJ mumbled to himself as he _Accio_ ’ed Wangja’s leash. He clipped it to Wangja’s collar, then lead the Husky to the broom closet they’d charmed into a meadow. Once inside, Wangja immediately ran off towards the river and gave JJ rope burn. JJ let go of the leash and sighed as Wangja sniffed at a plant. “You better be doing your business!” He shouted at the dog, who ignored him.

It took a few minutes, but Wangja eventually did the do near a patch of bubotubers. While JJ cleaned up, Wangja waited by the door that lead them back to the apartment. Once inside, he grabbed a dog treat and watched Wangja run off to his secret corner to eat it.

“Babe?!” JJ shouted while kicking off his shoes. “Where are you?!”

“In bed,” Seungil’s voice called back. 

This was fine. JJ really needed to sleep too. He only had a sip of the wine, yet his entire body already felt relaxed and warm. 

That was why JJ nearly tripped over himself after entering the bedroom. Seungil was lying in their bed in nothing but JJ’s old Falcon’s T-shirt, which pooled around his thighs. “My pajamas were too warm,” Seungil told him flatly.

This was not the first time Seungil had worn his clothes, but it was a rare, post-coitus privilege for JJ to witness. He _Aguamenti_ ’d some water into the closest cup and handed it to Seungil. 

“I don’t want water,” Seungil told him. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Babe,” JJ whined as he thrusted the water again at Seungil. “You can’t just say shit like that! Drink.”

Seungil drank the water uncoordinatedly, letting some drip down his chin and onto his soft, pale thighs. “Now, can we fuck?”

JJ was already changing out of his shirt. “You’re _really_ drunk, aren’t you?”

“Your ass did look nice tonight,” Seungil said as he lied back down. JJ’s shirt rode up and up until Seungil was giving JJ a show. “But I wanted to tell Livingston about how you belong to me, and how big your cock gets when you’re inside of me.”

JJ was losing his mind. He kicked off his trousers and got on the bed as well, just in time for Seungil to climb into his lap. 

“You wore those khakis on purpose. You know they make your ass look nice.”

“I did.” JJ’s hand landed on Seungil’s waist as he pressed his thumb into the hipbone. He felt his dick jump at the moan Seungil let out. “You’re gonna be hella angry and hungover tomorrow morning.”

“So?”

“So we really shouldn’t-”

Seungil glared, then rolled off JJ. “You suck.”

“Sure, maybe tomorrow.” JJ suggested, then sighed when Seungil pressed his hips into JJ’s leg. He could feel Seungil moving slowly, and leaned in to kiss him. While Seungil rutted against him, JJ freed himself from his boxers and brought their cocks together. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” Seungil said.

JJ decided that he should really get more of this Veritaserum wine. Yet, all thoughts of investing flew out of his mind when Seungil’s smooth, warm fingers wrapped around JJ’s dick. Everything was lazy and messy, and they both came embarrassingly quickly. 

Seungil was out like a light after that, leaving JJ to clean them up. “I’m so whipped,” JJ said again to Wangja when the dog jumped up and settled at the foot of the bed. 

In the morning, Seungil was expectedly groggy. His hair looked wild as he pressed his face into JJ’s chest. Seungil soon woke up when JJ continued their activities from the previous night, Seungil gripping the headboard tightly while JJ ate him out. Seungil was soft and mellow after that, mumbling nonsense into JJ’s shoulder as JJ worked him open with three fingers. 

“Don’t be shy,” JJ told him. “You were just praising my cock last night.”

“Less talking, more working,” Seungil hissed when JJ crooked his fingers. His complaints soon disappeared when JJ slid into him, and they were both speechless by the time Seungil came a second time. Seungil made a quiet, keening sound when JJ fucked him through his orgasm. He tightened around JJ, then whispered, “you really are so _big_ ” to make JJ spill into him.

They stopped using condoms years ago, but JJ still felt strangely giddy as he cleaned Seungil out. He could feel his dick twitching again, but Seungil just rolled over and said, “Shower.”

Afterwards, they ate breakfast with Wanja at their feet. “So are the promotion rumors true?” JJ asked.

“Who knows?” Seungil said into his tea, which totally meant he knew.

“When you get promoted, we should ask your boss for another bottle of that wine.” 

Seungil just rolled his eyes and told him to let Wangja out. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although the Ministry has gotten more streamlined in recent years, researching through the archives is still headache-inducing for anyone. By the time Seungil was promoted to Captain, he had already given up on turning to the Ministry Archives for information. Instead, Seungil Apparates directly to The Puffin offices after leaving St Mungo’s. 

Seungil has popped into The Puffin’s headquarters enough that no one seems surprised when he appears. He walks past three empty desks with floating quills self-scribbling onto parchments before finding someone.

“Seungil!” One of the Nishigori triplets greets from her desk. She seems to be charming together a photo collage of the current Minister of Magic, no doubt an example of The Puffin’s famous photojournalism. “If you’re looking for Phichit, he’s in the print room!”

Seungil gives her a small nod and takes the stairs down to the basement, where he finds another Nishigori triplet chatting with a sheepish looking Emil. They both greet Seungil, then point past the bookshelves where magnifying glasses hover in the air, examining multiple scrolls at once.

There, Seungil finds Phichit sitting on a desk and idly flipping through a copy of the Daily Prophet. 

“There’s our hotshot Auror!” Phichit calls without looking up. 

“What are you looking for with the magnifying glasses?” Seungil asks and moves a floating scroll out of his face.

Phichit grins. “That’s classified information, but I can tell you how I’ve charmed them to read through our archives! Lutz helped me convert this Muggle thing called search-engine optimization for us to pinpoint key words-”

“I know what search-engine optimization is,” Seungil cuts in. He does, after all, have a background rooted in applied mathematics. “Can you really tell the triplets apart?”

“Can _you_?” When Seungil doesn’t reply, Phichit hops off the desk. “How can I help you today, old friend?”

When Phichit first founded a satirical newsletter called The Puffin, Seungil had thought of it as an entertaining but fruitless endeavor. Then came the infamous Ghoul Outbreak of West Country, when The Puffin had been the only one willing to publish an exposé on the source of the outbreak. The Daily Prophet’s unwillingness to disobey Ministry orders made The Puffin a popular source for satirical, albeit deeply factual news. 

Seungil hadn’t given it much thought when Phichit spent their early post-Hogwarts days running around, collecting leads. To him, it felt like an extension of their school life, when Phichit knew everyone and everything. One merger with The Quibbler and countless publications later, The Puffin has elevated from an underground newsletter to one of the most popular wizarding news sources.

It doesn’t hurt that The Puffin is a clever abbreviation for The Puff Insider-- a nod to Hufflepuff’s unflappable gossip circle during their Hogwarts years. Nowadays, it really feels like Phichit knows everyone in the Wizarding World. 

“Alan Goldberg,” Seungil says slowly after casting a soundproof spell around them. “He’s under Ministry protection after receiving death threats. Do you know anyone who would dare attack him in broad daylight?”

“In Diagon Alley?” Phichit supplies, and Seungil can almost hear Phichit’s brain whirl with this information. “So he’s the reason for the commotion this afternoon? My source said our favorite beater was there, too, and almost got turned into blood pudding. How is he?”

Seungil resists the urge to roll his eyes. “You have too many sources. JJ is fine.”

“Good!” Phichit beams. “Because I would hate to see a change in stock patterns. I have a lot riding on the Falmouth Falcons this season! The director of Terror Tours bet serious money on the Falcons losing to the Pride of Portree. That’s definitely a bad investing move.”

Seungil doesn’t want to know how many official agencies are partaking in Phichit’s Quidditch betting pool. Instead, he picks up a stray piece of paper from Phichit’s desk and frowns at the little vest designs for owls.

“That’s our mock up for premium subscribers!” Phichit leans on Seungil’s side. “They get a customized owl sweater. Cute, right?”

“Goldberg,” Seungil says again. “Who’s after him?”

Phichit taps his chin with a quill. “Only half of the wizarding community in London. I might have something that interests you, although…”

“Stop playing coy and tell me what you want.”

This makes Phichit grin. “My journalist has a crush on one of your Aurors~ Maybe if you could set them up-”

“Always the matchmaker,” Seungil cuts in. “Why don’t you just throw both of their names into the Goblet of Fire?” It’s familiar banter between them, which makes both of them smile. “Who is your subordinate trying to woo?”

“Keller. A little birdie told me your unit is in charge of security for the Magpies Gala next week...”

“I’ll send Keller to oversee the security details,” Seungil decides. “This rest is up to your journalist.”

“Great!”

Seungil puts the owl leaflet down. “Now tell me about Goldberg.”

Phichit _Accio_ ’s some paper over from the shelf. “Goldberg is investing in a series of developments in Somerset. Multiple groups have petitioned him to stop because the plan includes tearing down a historical coven site that houses endangered lollyfrogs.”

“That’s bad luck,” Seungil says, remembering his second year History of Magic lesson. 

“Not only is it bad luck, but it’s bad press!” Phichit hands over a stack of photocopied petitions. “Here are the groups that have been protesting the development. You’ve got the Somerset Historical Society, the Million Witches Organization, and the Endangered Magical Creatures Protection Fund.”

Seungil pauses at the last one. Where has he heard that name before? He knew a couple of people who worked with magical creatures, but they usually fall under another department in the Ministry. 

“I’ll give you a hint!” If possible, Phichit’s grin grows even wider. “EMCPF has a board of directors consisting of major investors. Most of them are old, but there’s someone we may know.”

“You know everyone.”

“Someone _you_ may know,” Phichit corrects. “He’s an advocate for the rights of magical creatures and the newly minted seeker of the Russian Relecats.”

Blonde hair and sharp green eyes flash across Seungil’s memory. “Yuri Plisetsky?!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuri Plisetsky rarely steps foot in the UK, much less makes house calls. Still, a quick conversation with JJ reveals that Otabek is coming to town for an art exhibit on the history of magical creatures in central Asia. Otabek, despite being JJ’s best friend from Durmstrang, has only visited a handful of times. His upcoming trip also coincides with the end of The Russian Relecats’ tour through Northern Ireland. 

“Babe, I told you Otabek was coming weeks ago,” JJ grunts when Seungil interrogates him later that night. “You said you were too busy at work and couldn’t join us.”

Seungil moves JJ’s discarded practice clothes into the laundry with a flick of his wand. “How long is Otabek staying in town?”

“Three days.”

Seungil gives him a look. “Are you sure?”

JJ doesn’t seem to be sure at all. Instead, he wraps his arms around Seungil’s waist and nudges Seungil with his chin. “What do you know that I don’t know?”

“The R-league finishes their season a week earlier than yours.” Seungil leans back into JJ and frowns when JJ’s stubble pricks him in the neck. “The Russian Relecats’ last game is the day after tomorrow, in Dublin.”

“ _Ohhh_ ,” JJ says. “Damn, he didn’t tell me this trip was also a booty call. So what are you suggesting? Double date?!”

Seungil wouldn’t go that far. “I need you to get Yuri’s contact info.”

It turns into a double date anyway when JJ and Seungil show up to an upscale restaurant the following weekend, just in time to slide into seats at Otabek and Yuri’s booth. Otabek looks nonplussed to see them, but Yuri is less gracious. “I _said_ I’d send you the list by owl.”

“Owls can be intercepted,” Seungil replies as the waitress returns. She looks surprised to find not one, but two Quidditch stars now sitting at the back booth. Still, she gracefully takes JJ and Seungil’s order, then leaves.

JJ snatches some bread from the basket. “Plus, isn’t that owl 9384 years old, eh?”

“He’s a gift from Beka,” Yuri hisses, the same time Otabek says, “Nuzz is 98. He’s a bit old for a familiar.”

Yuri pulls out a piece of parchment from his robes and slides it towards Seungil. “Will you leave now? You got what you wanted.”

“Nope!” JJ chirps as he finishes his tea. “I love double dates!”

Yuri turns to Seungil. “How have you not hexed him by now?”

“It’s a daily temptation,” Seungil says as a new basket of bread appears on their table. He butters a piece with a wave of his wand and sticks it in JJ’s mouth before JJ can steal it from him. “He has some redeeming qualities.”

“Like what?!” Yuri demands. 

JJ has no qualms about talking with food in his mouth. “I love surprising Seungil with unplanned dates.”

“You’re crashing _ours_ ,” Yuri hisses.

“It keeps the romance alive,” JJ adds. 

Seungil opens up the scroll and scans through the list of names. While JJ and Yuri continue their banter, Seungil casts a soundproof spell around them until the muted conversations in the restaurant are filtered away. “How much control do you have over EMCPF’s daily operations?”

“Next to none. It took me enough wrangling to even get that list of members in the West Country branch. Couldn’t you have gotten it yourself with that fancy badge or something?” Yuri leans back in his chair and makes a grunt of approval when Otabek refills his drink.

“Not all agencies are cooperative with the Ministry,” Seungil explains as he removes the spell. Their food comes almost immediately after that, appearing with a grand pop and nearly pushing Seungil’s tea off the table. Thankfully, JJ catches it swiftly with one hand. “Thank you.”

“Let’s not talk business over dinner,” Otabek suggests diplomatically. He’s agreeable enough, so they spend the rest of the meal trading R-league draft predictions while Yuri complains about his fanclub. The conversation is pleasant enough that Yuri only grunts vaguely in their direction when Seungil covers their tab.

“He’s a big spender.” JJ winks, even though he knows Seungil is expensing this with the Ministry. 

They’re outside of the restaurant and ready to Apparate away when Seungil says, “It was a gamble to show up unannounced.”

“Oh, it wasn’t unannounced.” JJ grins and places his hand around Seungil’s waist. “Otabek totally knew we were coming.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Falmouth Falcons’ last match of the season is against the Pride of Portree as they play for the UKCup. JJ spends most of that week in practice, drilling new formations and tactics into his team. Despite losing a chaser to a wrist injury in their previous game, the Falcons have played their best season yet. Even their reserve chaser carries herself with a sort of confidence fit for winners, and JJ feels confident that they will do well.

So JJ is more than annoyed when their match comes to a screeching halt twenty minutes in. JJ had been in the process of sending a bludger at the Portree’s annoying chaser, so he angrily lowers himself to the ground. Portree’s captain shares his sentiment, seeing that she’s already arguing with the referee.

“What’s going on?” JJ asks. He can feel the stadium brimming with confusion as well. 

The referee puts his hands up in defeat. “Direct orders from above. An intruder is trying to get onto the field.”

JJ’s head snaps towards the nearest entrance onto the pitch. Then he remembers his pre-game conversation with Goldberg, who had looked less harried with his bodyguards but still on-edge. He’s opening his mouth when something cracks, sending the eastmost entrance to the locker rooms into a sizable explosion. 

“Bloody hell!” Portree’s captain shouts, even though they’re far away enough to avoid the blast. Still, the audience is now devolving into chaos. 

JJ is moving before he’s aware of it. He ignores the cautionary call from the referee and makes his way to the explosion site. It’s easy enough to climb through the rubble and into the stadium halls, where he finds--

A short man struggles on the ground as he reaches for a fallen wand. He growls at Minami, who also makes a leap for the wand but fails. The man has gotten a good grip on it when a familiar voice calls “ _Expelliarmus!_ ” 

The wand goes flying into the air until it lands in Seungil’s hands. “Arrest him,” Seungil says as Keller and Mishra appear by the stranger's feet and cast a spell to bind him. Seungil pauses at the sight of JJ. “What are _you_ doing here?”

JJ feels the need to gape. “You almost blew up the stadium!”

“Minami did that,” Kensington adds from where he’s trying to placate a pale looking Goldberg.

Minami turns red and starts apologizing for the explosion. By now, a few Quidditch officials have appeared on sight, along with photographers from both The Prophet and The Puffin.

“Why did you run in here wandless?” Seungil asks JJ while Kensington starts to rebuilt the entrance. “What were you going to do? Whack the culprit with your broom?”

“It’s a nice broom, with the most ergonomically designed handle on the market,” JJ says for lack of anything else. 

Seungil’s gaze moves from the Firebolt 530X to JJ’s Quidditch robes. “I’ll examine it more closely if you win this match.”

“ _When_ I win,” JJ corrects him. “Maybe then you’ll help me wax my broomst-”

“Captain Lee!” Minami wails. “The committee wants to know if the game can resume.”

“Take him back to HQ,” Seungil tells Mishra and Keller, who apparate away immediately with the suspect in their hold. Seungil turns to Goldberg. “Sir, I recommend you go to St. Mungo’s and--”

“And miss the end of the game?! I think not!” Goldberg gasps. Color is returning to his face now. “This is the _UKCup_ , boy! I’d rather drop dead than miss it!”

JJ hears Seungil murmur something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like _then die_. Still, JJ grins when a referee urges him to return to the pitch. “Remember your promise!” He shouts at Seungil before leaving,

The game resumes after a brief and vague announcement. Thankfully, no one seems to have been injured in the isolated blast, so JJ hops back on his broom and gives his team a quick peptalk. He reminds the other beater about Portree’s known blind spots and gives their seeker a good pat on the back. 

Portree seems to have lost some of their momentum after the intermission. The Falcons use that to their advantage and score four goals before Portree starts to catch up. JJ manages to knock one of Portree’s chasers off his broom with a well placed bludger, but nearly takes a nose dive after defending their own hoops. 

In his peripheral vision, JJ sees their seeker neck to neck with someone at the edge of the pitch. Distracted, JJ nearly gets mauled by a rogue bludger. He ducks just in time as the referee’s whistle echoes across the pitch. The Falcons’ seeker has caught the snitch.

The audience explodes.

JJ’s hair is definitely ruined by the time he crawls out of the Falcon’s hug pile. Still, he accepts the UKCup trophy in good humor as the team flies over the crowd. JJ nearly bites his tongue off when Ginny interviews him after the match. By the time he gets out of the team celebration and goes home, Seungil is on the sofa with Wangja.

“Welcome back,” Seungil says when JJ flops down at the other end of the sofa. He’s barely paying attention to the telly. 

“So who _was_ that guy?” JJ asks as Wangja noses at his hand. “Why did Minami almost blow him up?”

“A radical EMCPF member with a talent for intercepting owls. He’s been arrested before for minor offenses. Apparently Goldberg made his business go under, and the lollyfrogs just sealed the deal.” Seungil pauses. “Enough of that. How does it feel to be the UK Champion?”

“Sore,” JJ says. “But maybe your parents will be impressed the next time we visit.”

Seungil smiles softly. “I doubt it, but I’m impressed.”

“This is really not fair,” JJ grunts as Wangja lies down on their legs. “My parents like you. My sister likes you. Even my ex-fiancee likes you!”

“My parents like you too. They’re just bad at showing it.”

“Like you.”

Seungil tilts his head. “I thought I’ve been clear with my intentions. Why else have I been dating you for the past 8 years?”

“I need a refresher.” JJ leans in to kiss Seungil. He barely pays attention when Wanja jumps off and totters away, JJ too concerned with pulling Seungil into his lap. He doesn’t even notice when Wanja returns with something in his mouth and Seungil picks it up. “Babe, at least pay attention when we’re making out.”

“You wanted affirmation that I like you, right?” Seungil pops something open. He moves JJ’s hand from his face to the box in his palms. “Here it is.”

JJ’s jaw drops at he stares at the ring. “What the fuck.”

“That’s hardly an appropriate response,” Seungil says, but even he’s smirking. “Jean-Jacques Leroy, wil-”

“Holy fuck!” JJ shouts. “Yes!”

The fact that Seungil doesn’t get mad at the interruption is a testament to how long they’ve been together. He easily slides the ring onto JJ’s rough, callused finger. 

“You beat me,” JJ admits with a laugh. “I have a ring for you too, in the-”

“Back of the sock drawer. I know. You’re very predictable.” Seungil glances up with a hint of pink across his cheeks. It reminds JJ of the first time they kissed all those years ago on top of the Astronomy Tower. 

Quietly, JJ _Accio_ ’s the ring he’d painstakingly chosen over to them. “I can’t believe you did this first,” he mumbles while sliding his own ring onto Seungil’s slim finger. Still, JJ can’t stop himself from smiling. “You’re stuck with me now.”

“I’ve been stuck with you for a while,” Seungil says.

It’s the best news JJ has ever heard.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a belated xmas president for Jess and Sara, because I was too lazy to write them cards. The UK Quidditch Cup is totally made up, but then again, so is everything here. A big shout out goes to my beta [Kittebasu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanyeol/pseuds/kittebasu), who suffered through some extreme typos to make this fit for public consumption.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read and supported [Fundamental Laws of Magic and Attraction](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8887048). I hope you enjoy reading this one as much as I enjoyed writing it!


End file.
